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An analysis: Rokka -Braves of the Six Flowers-

A long time ago, I used to do reviews for movies and shows on another website.  I haven’t done one in a long time, but lately I’ve been watching a show that I’m really enjoying and I wanted to talk about it.  So I’m taking today’s blog post to discuss the Japanese animated show “Rokka -Braves of the Six Flowers-“.

Now, because of the nature of this show, it will be impossible to discuss it in a spoiler-free manner.  So, I am warning you now:  if you do not want this show spoiled for you up through episode 7 (the most recent at the time of this writing), do not read any further.

Again, this is your warning.  If you don’t want spoilers, please do not continue reading, and skip this post instead.

Continue reading → An analysis: Rokka -Braves of the Six Flowers-

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On compromise

When people talk about compromise, I get the impression that they mean splitting things down the middle, 50/50. But I’ve been giving the idea some thought lately, and I’ve come up with my own interpretation.

I was speaking with a friend on the topic recently, and told her that I don’t like the idea of compromise meaning splitting everything 50/50.  Doesn’t that kind of thinking create a system that’s open to abuse?  Couldn’t someone take a situation and say, “I’ve given you five things today and you’ve only given me four – so you have to give me what I want now.”?  Alternatively, what if we have a bad day and need more than 50%?  This model doesn’t account for that at all.

Instead, I told her that, to me, compromise means accepting that sometimes you have to split things 70/30, or 30/70.  Some days you need to give someone your 10 out of 10, and those days you don’t get anything.  Other days, you’ll need the 10 out of 10 yourself.

I told her that I think compromise is being graceful about accepting the ebb and flow of a relationship.  Compromise is acknowledging that the word has nothing to do with fair, and everything to do with respect.  Compromise means caring for someone else, but it also means caring for yourself.

If someone only takes but never gives, that is not compromise.  Those we love sometimes have periods in their lives when they need us to give more, and that’s OK.  But make sure they reciprocate.  Do not feed someone who is always hungry for more.  Do not share with someone who never shares.

Instead, seek out those who give joyfully, and respectfully request.  Offer your best, and be mindful of what others offer you.  Don’t be too proud to ask for help, and do not destroy yourself in the process of giving aid.

That is what compromise means to me.

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The deal with the Devil

I once had a conversation about why an all-powerful, benevolent God would allow for the existence of the Devil – and it was interesting, so I thought I’d share.  Though that was years ago, the essence of that conversation remains with me.  So this post is not a properly quoted and cited paper, but a story blurred by years, my own imperfect memory, and my penchant for theatrics.  I beg your indulgence.

“Why does the Devil exist if God is so benevolent and powerful?

I saw a movie once called ‘Constantine’ that starred Keanu Reeves.  And I wouldn’t call it a great movie, but I enjoyed it.  But there’s a quote in that film that really got me thinking.

‘What if I told you that God and the Devil made a wager, a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?’

Now, admittedly, this is a strange thing to find inspiring, but I’m not the type to ignore good advice – not even if it comes from an unusual source.  Because what if God and the Devil made a bet?  Why in the world would they do that?

As the story goes, the Devil fell from grace because he rebelled against God.  The story of why changes depending on your source, so I’ll decline to make any assertions there.  Ultimately, it does not matter.  The Devil fell, and opposed God.  And that is his nature.

But what of the nature of God?  If he is benevolent, why does he allow someone as wicked as the Devil to prey upon mankind?  This is even more confusing since God’s all-powerful nature should allow him to easily best the Devil.  Yet, he remains.

In the film, the characters assert or make the assumption that God and the Devil are engaged in a war, and that whomever gathers the most souls will win.  To that end, the Devil tempts people and God tries to save them.  Mankind is in the middle, both the victims of this war and the trophy.

But what if it is not that simple?

God is supposed to be benevolent – or all-good, to follow the ‘all-something’ descriptions of Him.  He is trying to save everyone.  That is why most people wonder why he does not simply smite the Devil and destroy him forever.  But to that line of thinking, I ask this question:

Whom is in greater need of saving than the Devil himself?

The Devil was once one of God’s most treasured angels.  But even though he fell, God’s own son tells the story of the prodigal son:  the story of a wayward son who returns home after selfish choices lead him to misfortune.  Yet that son is welcomed home with celebration, for his father is simply happy to see his son alive again.

Is the bet between God and the Devil not about who wins mankind, but an attempt by a father to bring his most wayward son back into the fold?

Because of that, it may seem like we are mere pawns in this game.  But I disagree.  We are not victims caught in the crossfire.  We are not the chips on the table.  We may be pieces on the board, but remember the pawn is far more powerful than it appears.  It can become any piece in time.  And so are we, in my opinion.

I think we are paladins, and we fight to save the world.  But the world is not merely buildings and roads.  It is not just trees and grass and flowers.  It is countries and cultures.  It is people.  And for every soul we save, we keep one more star in the sky from falling.

But is not the Morning Star the greatest star of them all?  But who mourns its fall?  Who would try to hang it back up in the sky, against all odds?  Who would forgive all grievances and welcome even the Devil back home?

A father would.  For the prodigal son – oh yes, a Father would.”

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On Faith and charged objects

Have you ever had something that means…just a little bit extra to you? Whether it’s a lucky shirt, a favorite song, or, hell, even a lucky pair of underwear, these objects seem to make things go our way. Maybe we do well on a date or an interview, but something always seems different when they’re around.

I call these objects “blessed objects”, or sometimes “charged objects”.

I call them “blessed” because their effect is to bless our lives. We feel stronger, more confident, better when they’re in use. And because of that, we seem luckier when they’re around. But I call them “charged” because this effect is not inherent – it’s something we make ourselves. Maybe we have a good day, and attribute the success of that day to something we’re wearing, a song that made us feel pumped up, or maybe a book we were reading. But whatever the object or the reason, we have a good day and associate the reason why to this object. So the next time we want to have a good day, we put the object into play again and believe it will bring us luck.

Maybe it does, and the object gains more of our faith. Maybe it doesn’t, and we look at the previous successes as flukes. Perhaps we just exhausted all the luck of that particular object, and need to find another.

But at the end of the day, we can find another, and that’s important. These objects are neither unique nor miraculous – they are something we can create on our own. It is our faith in them that gives them power. And knowing that, we can choose to create objects when we have need of them.  That’s the way magic works, the way rituals work, and the way faith works.

Faith is a great currency of the soul. While we may not be able to move the world like magicians in stories, we can do wonders with enough belief. If we have a hat, a shirt, a tie that we KNOW is special, we will feel more confident while wearing it. And as the saying goes, confidence is sexy. It’s attractive. People like confidence, and the confidence we create with this belief can carry us just as far as any spell from a storybook. It will open doors, charm managers and dates, and it will inspire.

I participated in many rituals in my life. I have made a candle on the summer solstice that was meant to strengthen and inspire me. I’ve said a few words and destroyed a cup and a photograph to help myself get over some people. I’ve woken up early on the weekend to eat bread and drink wine in the hopes that doing so will save my soul.

Whether or not they work is a matter of some debate. But each and every one of them meant something to me. I believed in them, and that faith gave them power.  And the knowledge that I was the one doing this gave ME power.

And taking back that power is the reason why I wrote this post. Because anyone can believe in a miracle, but the one who explains a miracle… Well, now I feel a bit like the guy who ruined a magic trick. But I’m also the guy who’s telling you that you can make your own magic, perform your own miracles.

So go out there and do something amazing. You are powerful beyond measure, and limited only in the depth of your faith.  To borrow someone else’s words, which have meant a lot to me:

“Believe in yourself. Not in the you who believes in me. Not the me who believes in you. Believe in the you who believes in yourself.” *

Have faith, and you will do wonders.

 

* From the animated show Gurren Lagann, spoken by the character Kamina in episode 8

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Language study: to vs with

“I want to talk to you.”

Few words inspire such dread as these. Childhood memories of scoldings rise like blisters. These words are the opening act to every breakup argument, a sweat-soaked overture to an amorous ending, and the denouement to a heart-breaking dream.

These words mean, “You’re in trouble now.”

And we brace for a fight when confronted with these words. We become defensive, and that’s a natural response to this kind of stimuli. And while I could write an entire article on the nuances of our responses to stress, that’s not what I want to do today. Today, I’m going to show you how changing one word makes a world of difference.

“I want to talk with you.”

Do you see the difference there? Do you feel it? By changing one word, we change it from a directed statement into a cooperative one. It’s not longer accusatory, but an invitation to dialog. It lets the recipient know that their opinion is not only welcome, but wanted.

So why do I care, and why am I bothering you with my thoughts on this topic?

As a poet, writer, and storyteller, I make language a subject of much study. I muse on the meaning of words and phrases. I love puns, and delight in finding new ways to express a greater depth of meaning while using only a smattering of words. And sometimes I take the lessons I learn for my writing and apply them to the rest of my life.

I’ve had plenty of times in my life when I’ve been told, “I want to talk to you.” I’ve had plenty of times I’ve said that to someone, and seen how they react. But when I think of how those words have made me feel, and how I’ve seen them make others feel, it makes me want to be a better person.

I don’t want to be a “to” person. I don’t want to lecture or badger someone. I want to talk with them – I want to express my opinions and feelings and get feedback. I want to be a “with” person.

I want to be open and inviting. I want to inspire people – not terrorize them. So these days I make an effort to use “with” over “to”. Because living well, and making the world a better place, takes effort. And sometimes all it takes to make a difference in someone’s day is the choice of a single word.

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On letting go

One of my favorite books series has a quote:  “Death is lighter than a feather, but Duty is heavier than a mountain.”*

But what of grief, loss, or betrayal?  What about rage, fury, and madness?  What about the memories that still have the power to hurt, even years later?  How heavy are they?

Letting go is not easy.  Our ability to let go of something is inversely proportional to its meaning in our lives.  The more we cherish something, the harder it is to let go.

But we must let go – we cannot carry around old memories like a home-made necklace of scars.  The weight of them all will break us in time.  We have to let go – not just for the people and things that have come into our lives since then, but also for ourselves and for the futures we wish to create on the other side of intense feelings.

I have made mistakes, and I carry the scars of those poor choices.  I made jewelry out of that pain and wore it every day.  I wove the pain of those choices into garments, and wore them years past the day I outgrew them.  I swallowed anger like a stone, and ate meal after heavy meal of heavy fare.  But how was that fair to me?

I want to create a new life for myself.  I want to live in the sun, beyond the shadows of my past.  I want love, and happiness, and a bright future to look forward to.  But that means letting go.

I carried grief and rage and pain for five years:  three for one person, two for another.  But five is one of my favorite numbers, because it lies in the middle of the spectrum between extremes.  Five can go either way, high or low.  Five is a number with choices to be made.  Five is a number around which to shape your own destiny.

For three and two years, I have swung my five low, and languished in my grief.  But with three swings of a hammer, I shattered her cup, and I let her go.  With three swings of a hammer, I destroyed his photo, and I let him go.  And then added some more swings, because loving yourself means owning up to what you feel and letting yourself know that it’s OK to be angry.  It’s OK for it to hurt.

It hurt because it meant something to you, and it’s time to feel that – and once you’re done, time to let it go.

 

*The book series is Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series.

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The story of a question

Today I want to tell you a story. It is the story of a question, and I have told it often to people in the past. It is the story I use to explain my thoughts and feelings on religion.

So here is my story of a question.

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that there is the Christian God. He exists, and is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present, and all-good. I make these assertions not only because of my math and science educational background, but because not everyone has the same beliefs.

So, given a God with these characteristics… Let’s say that you have the opportunity to ask one question of God, and this question will be answered with full and complete honesty. What question would you ask?

This is the part most people assume is a test, and they are right. But there are no right or wrong answers, merely answers that reveal things about each of us. I also ask for audience participation at this point, but since I’m telling this story online, I will forgo that today. Instead I will share some of the questions people have told me in the past.

I think my mother wanted to know why an benevolent and all-powerful God would allow for evil in the world. A good question; I’m curious as well.

A friend of mine who’d left seminary said he would ask for the meaning of his life. I’ve had others ask for the universal “meaning of life”, and that’s a good question as well – they both are.

I met a young woman in a coffeeshop who wanted to know why she’d suffered hardships recently. I understand that question as well.

An atheist friend of mine had a question that, while I don’t remember what she said, was so ridiculous it made me laugh. I remember her laughing off the opportunity, and it is her choice on how to spend the opportunity. As I said, there are no right or wrong questions. Our questions reveal who we are.

Which brings me to my question, which I have always prefaced by saying, “I will only tell you this if you let me explain WHY I’m asking it.”

My question is, and has always been: “Dear God (if there is a God), do you prefer beef or chicken cheesesteaks?”

That’s ridiculous, right? I recall my mother calling it “fucking stupid” when I first told her. I admit – it’s hard to see the value my choice.

So here is the story of why I would ask that question.

God knows everything; God can do anything. He is the president, CEO, and board of directors of Life and The Universe Inc. He has angels who serve him, people who worship him – and no friends.

Idolizing someone and putting them on a pedestal is not the same thing as being their friend. We may love celebrities, but we are not their friends. Our relationship with them is different than that. Then take God, the ultimate celebrity, and imagine the distance between him and the rest of us. Imagine the solitude of one who has spent the entirety of humanity’s existence watching over us, and trying to save us – most often from ourselves.

He may be the King of Kings, but I see him as the lonely king at the top of the mountain. He hears all supplicants, but does so alone. From the Christian creation story, he made partners for humanity, so we would not be alone. But whom did he create for himself?

Us? We are a mob of children who bombard him with our wishes and whims. Selfish or selfless, we ask and ask and ask some more.

Which brings me back to my question.

I do not care about the answer to my question. The point of the question is not to get an answer. I’m not requesting anything.

I am trying to make him smile, maybe even laugh.

With a seemingly lonesome existence as a caretaker, how many of us have turned to him to comfort him? How many of us have tried to make him laugh? How many of us have taken the gifts he’s given us and turned them into gifts for him?

So I want to use my gift to make him laugh. I would surprise him, though I assume he’s heard of my ambitions already (as I am not quiet about this story).

I ask him this question to treat him as a person. I ask him the same question I would ask a parent, a friend, a partner, or a child. I ask him the inconsequential question of what does he want for a meal. I narrow the field of answers to two choices – in part for comedic effect, in part to simplify the answer.

In doing so, I tend to one I perceive as untended. I care for one I see as forgotten – not God the Divinity, but the God who has walked beside us all our lives. I look after the one who looks after us, because it is important to be kind to others regardless of whether or not there’s anything in it for us.

Because that’s how we’re supposed to live, and treat each other. (In my opinion)

Interestingly, my question actually makes me something of a heretic. One of the characteristics of God is that he is not only all-knowing, but unknowable. And my question is about getting to know him, in a small but still very personable way.

I’m going against the grain, and walking a road that I don’t believe many stereotypical religious-types would walk. Perhaps they would, but I have yet to hear anyone ask a question for which they do not want an answer. In fact, I can see this silly question of mine being the sort of thing that overly zealous people would fight over.

Beef or chicken? It’s obviously beef! People in the past sacrificed cattle to God, so therefore God would want beef.

Are you crazy? It’s so obviously chicken! God’s middle-aged now: he’s had a child, and raised that child to adulthood. Now God’s gotta take care of his health and watch his weight. That means white meat – chicken is the only answer it could be!

Beef!

Chicken!

*queue the religious wars*

Perhaps I’m a pessimist, but I can see that happening. It’s probably happened already, on different topics. Perhaps it’s even happening in our times right now.

Which is why this little heretic thinks God needs a laugh. Because, honestly…

Look at us. Look at any parent with small children. Look as us again – all seven-point-something-billion of us.

I think God NEEDS this laugh, and I think that laugh, that smile, is a good use of my question.

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Curse you

Sometimes, we dislike people – to put it mildly.

Sometimes they do things that frustrate us, annoy us, anger us, or enrage us. Sometimes, we just don’t like them, and we can’t even put a finger on a reason why. And sometimes, we curse those we dislike.

I’m not talking about profanity. That core collection of words – the “fuck”s, “shit”s, and “damn”s – are almost meaningless in our current culture. In the words of Lewis Black on the topic, “These are the words adults use to express rage, frustration, anger.” And they serve their purpose, but they are not what I mean when I talk about cursing someone.

What I mean are the words we use, subconsciously, to criticize, insult, or condemn others.

Continue reading → Curse you

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All in

I’ve been chewing on a thought for a while, and trying to get it down just right onto the page.  So, please indulge me, because here I go again…

“If you look deeply enough, you can see the world inside a single sheet of paper. You see the clouds in the page, for they carried the rain that made the tree grow. Without the rain, there would be no tree, and without the tree we would have no sheet of paper. The same could be said of the sun, or of the soil. The same could be said of the logger, who cut down the tree. And also the bread, that fed the logger who cut down the tree. And also the baker, who made the bread that fed the logger who cut down the tree. And as you look deeper, as you step further back and take a wider view, you can see the entire world in a single sheet of paper.”*

I encountered this concept from the Buddhist monk and poet Thich Nhat Hanh years ago in college, and I’ve recently heard people I know talking about it. They reinforce Thich Nhat Hanh’s concept of interbeing – the interconnectivity of all things. They talk of harmony, of unity, of zen.

And while I also like the statement, I follow a different line of thinking regarding it.

I think of the times I’ve turned to others in need, and been turned away. I think about times I’ve been in pain, and no one has spoken up. I think about times I walked away, and no one chased after me. I read that concept, and think not of the interconnectivity of things, but of what happens when others ignore how connected everything really is. I think of severance, and abandonment. I think of responsibility.

I do not say these things to shame or harass anyone who had done such to me. In many cases, if not most, I know why others turned away. I know what they were struggling with. I know why they had no time for me. I saw their weariness. I know how toxic I was. I understand.

But the world is larger than my small perspective, and my choice to condemn or not condemn someone over this is a personal matter. The world is a much bigger place, and universal concepts must apply universally. And to that point, and with respect to the philosophy I brought up earlier, I make the following statement.

If there is a mess, and no one cleans it up, the mess does not go away. If anything, it grows larger.

So what does that mean? It means, to me, that if someone is in pain, and that pain is left untended, it magnifies rather than diminishes. It means that all the times we say we are too busy to help a friend in need…are times when we are betting that they can bear the pain on their own, or we are betting that someone else will appear to take care of them. We pass along the responsibility.

I believe that caring and loving people is something we must actively do. We cannot merely find time for people; we must make time for people. And in those times we don’t, in those times we walk away, I see as abandonment. I do not see people taking care of each other. I do not see them living a life that emphasizes the interconnectivity of everyone and everything. I see them as so caught up in their own life that they do not see the world around them.

And while it is not shameful to want to live your own life, The Golden Rule has always been to give to others as good as you wish they would give you.

Do we want others to treat us well only when it is convenient for them? Or do we want people to move mountains (or perhaps moving boxes) to help us in our times of need?

Do we want others there in our times of despair? Or do we want fair-weather friends who cannot, will not, and do not spend their time on those they deem “toxic”?

Do we want to feel the connectivity of the world, or do we want our own small islands of influence that we leave only when we can negotiate favorable trade agreements?

How do we live a good life? How do we live well? I freely admit – I do not succeed at this every day. Some days I do not even have it in me to try, and I drag myself through the mud with as much grace as I can muster. I try to do better the following day, and the one after that. Some days I succeed; others, I fail.

And so, I do no tell you all of this to shame you, dear reader. I do not say this to manipulate you. I say this because some words must be said. I say this because I have noticed those who walked away, who had no time, who had better things to do…

I say this because of all the stories I see and hear on the news, of the people for which others passed along the responsibility of care. I say this for all the tragedies that have occurred when the star called a human heart fell from the sky. I say this for futures we may yet avoid, for people we may yet save.

We are all connected. Just as the cloud, the rain, the sun, the soil, the logger, the bread, and the baker can be found in a single sheet of paper, I see all of you in me. I see myself in all of you. I see how helping myself can help you, and how helping you, ultimately, helps myself – and all of us.

*This concept was paraphrased, not quoted.

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Online advertising

I was thinking about online advertising a while ago, and I wanted to put my thoughts down on the topic.

First off, I’m not a big fan of online advertising (or ads in general), but I’ll get to why later.  First, I’ll explain what advertising is in an online space.

Online advertising, whether it’s videos or images, are driven by two things: views and clicks. Together, these two measure the engagement of the ads.  Ads with low views are low value, while ads with high views and low clicks are unengaging.  Advertising agencies try to get as much value out of those two stats as they can.

So what’s the/my problem with online advertising?

1) It’s everywhere and/or disruptive.

You don’t really understand how prevalent online ads are until you use a service like adblocker to disable them.  Some sites look WHOLLY different with their advertising removed.

Additionally, advertising commercials placed in online video content can be extremely disruptive because the content is either not designed for ads or the ads are not placed where the content has pauses for ads.  I’ve even seen some services with such poor video advertising that they will show the same commercial multiple times in the same commercial break – or even in a row.  I’ve used services where the total variety of ads was so low, I would see every ad multiple times in a two-hour span of time.  That quickly became exhausting and irritating.

And some ads register and respond to clicks even when there has been no interaction with the advertising content – causing pop-ups or new pages to load when users do not desire that.  Such links can even be malicious, and attempt to download viruses or other unwelcome software – I’ll discuss this in further detail later.

2) It can be deceptive.

Advertising on the download pages of many software sites use banners and images that deceptively appear to be download links.  That makes finding the correct link to click rather difficult, and clicking an incorrect link can have disastrous effects.

3) It can be malicious

Some advertising links don’t redirect you to content, but instead try to prompt you to download software or viruses.  Pair that with the fact that some links auto-click whenever you click anywhere on the page, or that some links (in my experience with mobile browsers) activate on a time delay, and you have a rather nasty problem.

I like to read comics online on my phone in the morning, and some sites are practically unusable on a mobile device because the advertising keeps attempting to force me to download an app.  An it’s immensely frustrating when you’re trying to read something, get pulled away from that due to reasons outside your actions, and then have someone trying to force you to download some app or mobile game or whatever.

But I’ve had similar issues with sites on my desktop computer, which is why I heavily use adblocking software.  It was frustrating to be browsing and click somewhere on a page to have a popup appear and try to infect your computer with a virus.

So what’s the solution to these issues?

Honestly, I’m not sure.  Sites use advertising for revenue which allows content creators to release work for free, as well as…y’know, eat and pay rent and all that good stuff.  Using adblockers keeps end users like myself safer, but at the cost of taking money away from the content creators (or curators in some cases).

But in a heavily capitalist society like America (which is where I live), people often vote with their wallets.  If they’re willing to put up with ads like this, they’ll keep viewing them and supporting both the content creators as well as the advertising companies and whatever specific type of ad they’ve encountered.  If not, they use services to block ads on most sites, while whitelisting a few favorite sites.

And it’s very difficult to not suggest adblockers to people, because I think that the quality of advertising on the internet has a lot of room for growth.  Since money is one of the few things that will move advertising creators to change, bypassing or blocking their ads is a solution.  But I think it’s only a short-term one.  Because, in the end, that only ends up shooting content creators in the foot, and takes money out of their pockets.  Without strong revenue streams, people cannot provide content for free online (or anywhere, to be honest).

Which makes this just one more thing in our society that bears analysis and discussion, in my opinion.  A solution will probably not be quickly forthcoming, and it with require our engaged participation in the dialog.  Because otherwise we take a backseat to our interests, and let others make the decision for us.  And that is a recipe for trouble somewhere down the road.

So what do you think Internet?  What’s your take on online advertising, or advertising in general?