Creative writing – Page 19 – A (wise) man of two faces

A brave face

We put so much work
into trying to look strong
when we most need help.

Just ’cause I’m not broken
doesn’t mean I’m not breaking;
my smile is a token
of all that I am faking.

I hold my tears back
to muffle the pain,
but inside they attack
like an April rain.

I speak of it to none,
for the past has taught me true
that when you trust someone
they can and will hurt you.

And so I laugh and play and please,
desperate to hide this dread disease.

Happiness is faint:
smaller than a grain of sand,
more fragile than glass.

Sorrow is monstrous:
a leviathan who comes
to devour all.

They call me “anti-social”,
and I suppose it’s true,
but they don’t realize just how close
I’m watching what they do.

I’ve seen how they treat each other,
the malice and the spite;
I’ve watched them writing bitter words
long into the night.

I’ve watched them running ragged,
and all but out of breath;
chugging liters of cheap coffee
just to stave off death.

Is it any wonder that I seek
a different life than that they keep?

I know that I’m lost,
but I’ll find the way again.
I have faith in that.

It isn’t easy
to stand up and do what’s right
when no one else will.

I wish that I was brave enough
to rise and take a stand
to the terrors which are welling up
to swallow this land.

I wish that I was strong
so I could strike them down:
the wickedness and wrongs
who are ruining this town.

I wish I had the wisdom
to find a better way,
to craft a better kingdom
on the far side of the fray.

But the road to virtue is beset
by tempting vices and regrets.