I’m sorry you were hurt
charging deep into the fray –
the two dozen other people
were getting in the way.
So sorry that the fire
left you with a burn
but there were just so many
that you had to wait your turn.
It’s a pity that their General
beat you black and blue;
perhaps if you’d been careful
he would have ignored you.
Maybe you should learn to fight
instead of blaming me tonight.
I fight for glory
upon the fields of war and
my name will live for-
My arcane power
humbles our enemies with
blasts of pure magick.
I summon fireballs to
scorch my enemies
and char the earth beneath them.
I command winter
and pull her icy fragments
down from the heavens.
The only things I fear are
the attentions of my foes.
I draw my blade and bear my shield;
my stance, I vow, shall never yield.
I’ll bear the brunt of all the blows
from all of our maleficent foes.
And when defeat is close at hand,
that’s when I’ll make my final stand.
Oh, the bloodlust and the joy
as I charge in shouting, “Leroy!”
Their world fell down around them
into ruins of rust and dusty dumps
filled with the former fads of fiscal fools
and the fruits of the fallen.
I search through this cyber cemetery,
with a cheerful song on my lips,
for the material means
to make a heaven of hell.
Exhaustion pulls the sky down low
beyond where even the raindrops go
until the dark swallows the light
and you go out blazing into that good night…
Though we’ve claimed to tame
the rebellious flame,
are we really that strong?
Are we really not wrong?
And we carve our names into the stone
as though we somehow could have known
how long we would rule…
Lord, we were such fools.
From dust we’re born
and to dust we’ll die,
though we lord o’ the oceans
and command the vast skies.
We are those who go bump in the night:
the shadows on the wall, the small child’s fright.
We’ll terrorize you to our delight
before swallowing up the last of the light.
We are the shades who hunt the line
between our world and that of thine.
On sweetest sins we nightly dine,
a desecration quite divine.
We have lived long through the ages
and lurked between your fables’ pages.
We’ve supped upon your finest sages
and shouldered your worst warriors’ rages.
The time has come; your end is nigh
as our wings blot out the sky.
You’re stumble, mumble fumbling,
so messed up that you’re tumbling
down heights and hills and high ways –
but please steer clear of my ways.
Your noxious scent’s quite petulant,
your manners aren’t quite heaven-sent,
and your broken bones are jonesin’
with gangrene fermentosin’.
Your slack-jawed face that lacks awe
has seen the wrong side of a hacksaw
and you lost your ear right over ‘ere
and I think I can see your derriere…
Well…I’ll do God’s work and put you down
with a bullet right upon your crown.
Today I posted something on the internet again
and all my friends laughed
and hit the “like” button
except for the fakes and haters
who reblogged it with mean comments
about how I should leave my parents basement
and go outside and get a tan
but they’re just jealous
of how awesome I am.
A (wise) man of two faces 