I cut myself again
and pay the bitter toll.
I’m desperate to feel whole;
I’m desperate for the pain.
When that familiar feeling
hits me like a wave,
I feel as though I’m saved
by the sanguine healing.

It’s curious that what breaks me
feels like remedy
while what threatens to unmake me
is a sweet melody.
For I fear pleasures unknown
far more than the pain that I call home.

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