I’m a bad man, I confess,
when I’m a player out on the attack.
My life’s been one big, glorious mess.

The cherry of my eye was a girl named Jess.
She had the most amazing rack.
I’m a bad man, I confess.

And I broke the heart of dear, sweet Bess
when she caught me and her mother in the sack.
My life’s been one big, glorious mess.

Then there was Miss Little Black Dress
who gleefully took me to hell and back.
I’m a bad man, I confess.

And there was that brief time with Wes…
Which, I assure you all, amounted to jack.
My life’s been one big, glorious mess.

Now I spend my nights with Tess
who has quite a dexterous knack…
I’m a bad man, I confess.
My life’s been one big, glorious mess.

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